This Is For Real
Oh Christina thanks for introducing me to Motion City Soundtrack 
Well I’m having a nervous breakdown right now. High School starts tomorrow and I’m all frazzled. I don’t even know where the bathrooms are! Can you believe this?!?! I’m so ill prepared it’s killing me. I constantly have the urge to pee but no urine comes out! Listening to music gets me jittery and talking to my friends just increases my adrenaline rush. Basically all my attempts to calm down should just be labeled as one huge EPIC FAIL! GAH!! Everything that I’m leaving behind is by FORCE! I won’t have anyone that close to me for any classes. Come on that has to scare you a bit? Plus I have to face the ex-boyfriend and openly accept the awkwardness. Even scarier, all the new people. The SCARIEST part is eventually taking a public school bus with no one. Better said without Melanie. No one has my stop and no one is taking the bus except for Nick, who’s at a different stop. You could understand why a person like me is freaking out. My stomach is constantly contorting itself into even tighter knots!
I’ve done everything possible to prepare myself. I’ve even made my lunch and planned what underwear to put on tomorrow. I’ve set seven different alarms, planned to shower, planned my outfit, what hairstyle to do, what shoes to wear, packed my bag for school, and told everyone that I love them. All I need to do is restrict my twitter updates. I don’t need fifty different updates during school hours.
I need to talk to people who know me but don’t know me VERY well. Elii and Liz are doing their best to calm me down and I’m a bit better but I’m still shaking. Lisy isn’t going to help much. Everyone says the same thing though. I wish I could be as cool and calm as Liz ; ; I’m not adjusted to change. Change means challenges and sacrifices. Cambridge already scares the shit out of me.
I will be fine. I have friends. It’s a good change. I just need to pray that I don’t do something stupid. New things. New routines. New friends. I’m seeing some old people too. Not old people but old friends. Being nervous is normal. I’m writing this more for myself. Everything is going to go really well. I’ll hate it but then love it. School. A Love Hate Relationship.
The adrenaline rush
My stomach in it’s familiar knots
Fingers twitching
I know the feeling
Leaving the house
In the car
The traffic on the way there
On last check in the review mirror
Texting the loved ones
A nervous wreck, finding each other
Excited to see one another
The upperclassmen thinking ,”oh brother”
Trying not to look lost
Rushing to class
A little anal about time
Yet still afraid to commit a freshman crime
Soaking in every bit of information
Stirring up your determination
Facing a few fears
Maybe crying a few tears
At the end of the day
We’ll let out a sigh
Rush back home to discuss
What was the whole fuss
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