Reciprocal
Lately I’ve had this feeling that people either do too much for me, or I do too much for them. I have distanced myself from people to see if my theory is true and started accepting the help of other individuals more often to see how it plays out. So far I am traveling to this horrifying conclusion, but I would like to share certain instances first that have occurred with people who have played a part in my mental study.
First, the one that bothers me the most is this time in AICE US History where Shixiu did not cheat for me. I know, cheating is bad and what not but I studied for this class and AP Chemistry and by changing ONE answer, I could have received at least a D on the test which on a four-point scale, would not damage my astronomical 14.00 in the course because of the extra credit. I cheated for Shixiu, enough to give her a B in which she left answers blank for me to fill in and she did not write in lowercase letters and we switched pens because she didn’t want to get caught. Oh, she also had a 14.00 in the course and that is because I brought her candy to turn in as extra credit as well. I did a lot for her that test, and she only got about three questions right on the test so she would have had a flat out F- not even close to a D. I was very upset at her that day because:
a) I was willing to cheat that much for her, but she wasn’t willing or in her cases “forgot” to cheat for me
b) I gave her candy to get that extra credit and I didn’t want her grade to go down after boosting up so high, and I didn’t ask her to pay me back and refused to take her money.
c) I had another AP class to study for as well as a journalism test that day, but all she had was Moffi’s exam in which she flunked worse than I did (mind you, she is MUCH better at retaining information than I am).
To compensate, she gave herself an F which didn’t make me feel better because its as if I gave her the candy for no reason. My conclusion? People would rather put themselves down to your level (or lower their level?) than actually help you out. It is in fact a greedy world, no matter how pure and good you think a person is.
A positive instance is with my boyfriend Josue. I hate it when people pay for me, I usually don’t go out if I don’t have the money. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is rich and likes to go out a lot. I finally allowed him to pay for me because I was getting shit from everyone. In doing so, he was actually happy. I have paid for a date once and I try to keep him at my house watching movies instead, but I decided to finally accept the fact that he can pay for our dates. I guess I’ve accepted help from him in that case, and he actually helps me study for my courses and such, a person that I never wanted to accept help from and it’s only done me good so far. It is reciprocal though, I do my best to make sure I do what I can as a girlfriend and best friend. I am very pleased with this because:
a) It feels like an equal give and take relationship
b) I actually see the benefits rather than hope that he returns the favor
c) We’re both pleased
I don’t know, but my theories on friendship seem to be proven more and more as high school goes on. Just as a refresher, there are four types of friendships:
1. The type in which you need them more than they need you
2. The type in which they need you more than you need them
3. The type in which you are okay with one person needing the other more
4. The type in which you need each other equally
Cynical way of looking at it, but that very well seems to be the case. Nothing seems to be reciprocal anymore, but I seem to get the short end of the stick.
